Saturday, July 26, 2008

I be real smart in my graditate clas

Okay, so you all know I'm taking courses in pursuit of my MBA. And you know that I'm a grammar beyotch and get all bent out of shape when I find errors in publications and such. I'm the girl who edited her roommate's grocery lists, remember?

But I think that, in a graduate class, a certain level of, shall we say, basic spelling and grammar knowledge is to be expected. One would presume, after all, that to reach a graduate class, one had to have actually earned an undergraduate degree, which supposedly would involve mastering the basics of one's native language.

One, however, would be horribly, miserably wrong.

Let me explain.

Fifteen percent of our grade this term (Finance 5000) is based on participation in the on-line discussion forum. Every week ol' Nigel throws something out there and we're supposed to respond, and then respond to other students' responses. He's made it pretty easy, asking us to comment on current business events and the like. It's a dream assignment for a master bullshitter like myself. The discussion forum is also a great way to get to know your classmates, whom you will never meet. Trust me, in many cases this is not a bad thing. It usually doesn't take long for us to peg the suck-up, the too-smart-for-his-own-good guy, and the does-this-guy-ever-work-or-does-he-just-wait-for-Nigel-to-post-so-he-can-respond guy. For this term, those last two happen to be the same guy.

Anyway, I realize that the very nature of an on-line discussion forum is much more relaxed and conversational than, say, a formally submitted paper or thesis or whathaveyou. I realize that you can use slang and jargon (to a certain extent), and it's probably okay to be colloquial. I like to think that I bring my own certain brand of irreverance to an otherwise boring and mundane topic like finance.

So, mixed in with all this slang and jargon and colloquialism and shit, I do expect basic spelling and grammar to be a given.

This was posted on our on-line forum this evening, and after M and I laughed about it, I decided to share it with all of you:

I agree its stratic, no ammount of markiting will switch
a bud drinker to stella or any other of their european brands.

Now, the actual context of the post is irrelevant (we're discussing Inbev's acquisition of A-B and whether it was strategic or opportunistic, and whether it was downright stupid given that A-B's market share, and in fact beer sales as a whole, has been declining).

My favorite, I think, is markiting. Oh. My. God. This is an MBA course. Marketing is an integral component of earning an MBA, because, oh, I don't know, it's maybe an integral part of business. I also like how he eschews the use of capital letters in proper names. Not since ee cummings have I seen such a blatant disgregard for capitalization. (Not capitalism, which is actually also an integral part of business. But I digress.)

I want to post, "Dude, this isn't your buddy with whom you're texting about how many pony kegs you'll need for tonight's bash."

But, sigh, I don't post that. Just like I don't post "Suck-up" in response to the one girl in our class who refuses to call Nigel "Nigel" like the rest of us, but instead always says, "Professor." Whatever, Gilligan.

Good news, though, we cranked through the last homework assignment tonight and have a plan in place to blow through the final before Tiff and Doug's wedding festivities kick off Wednesday night! We're overachievers, we are. And we can spell good, too.


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