Thursday, March 26, 2009

What if this is it?

For the last week, in bits and pieces, when I have a few minutes here and there, I've been putting all my work up on my favorite photography site, of which I'm now a member. Members are allowed to basically have unlimited images posted to their account, so instead of having three measly images I now have a "gallery." And within my gallery I've even got folders that catalog my work and allow visitors to view it as a slideshow and such.

And at first I was pretty pleased to post it all and muck around with how I wanted it to be ordered, etc. Thought I was near done and then remembered another cache of images I hadn't plumbed. Those went up tonight.

I looked over my gallery and was satisfied, until that sucky self-doubt snuck into my brain.

"What if this is it? And what if, horror of horrors, it sucks?" I mean, I like my work. I've had family and friends tell me they like it (but they have to because of that whole love thing, so really they don't count). What if people (photographers, no less) who don't know me look at my gallery and say, "Wow. Gee whiz. I didn't know that anyone could sink to such lows in the cess pool of suckitude." Three people have visted my workspace there, back when I had only three images posted, and they were all very kind. But those were only three images. A fraction of what I've created. And they were probably only being kind because I had left lovely, complimentary comments on their images (because they, unlike me, are truly talented).

What if empirically, intrinsically, undeniably, I simply suck at photography?

That would really blow.


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