Shit we accomplished today

Early mass. And by early I mean 9 am. Anything before 9 am is not classified as early. It's classified as "no f*cking way."

A fight discussion about neither of us being able to figure out how to load a new gift card into the new Starbucks app. We blamed each other for our mutual stupidity.

Foisted our kid onto not one but two friends today. We had a morning play date with Friend 1 and an afternoon swim with Friend 2. To avoid being total deadbeat parents we invited both girls to spend the night. Friend 1 declined, Friend 2 is here now.

After many stores and fitting rooms, found two lovely pairs of linen pants for M to wear to dinner in Punta Cana.

Cracked ourselves up at Which Wich by labeling our sandwich bags with our Top Gun names. (See photo.) Note to M: You can be my wingman.

A lunch chat about retirement savings. Because clearly we're old as shit and have nothing more interesting to talk about.

Bought a big, floppy hat to wear at the beach in an attempt to ward off wrinkles. And any appearance of being younger than 80.

Figured out how to load a new gift card into the new Starbucks app. This, obviously, happened post-coffee.

Weeded the mulch bed around the train track oval in the front yard.

Cut the grass.

Swept the train track oval.

Bet a million dollars that you don't know anyone else who has a train track oval in their front yard.

Clarified for Zoe that while Mommy's parents are divorced and remarried, they didn't just swap spouses. Although Grammy and Grandpa Ray used to be married, Papa and Grandma Judy did not. The family tree is already pretty f*cked up, sweetie. Let's not make it worse.

Booted up Gremlins for the girls to watch. The original Gremlins, not the horrific Gremlins 2 that should never, ever have been made but which we now own. Damn you box sets!

Made arrangements for the animals to spend the week with their grandparents while we are gone. It'll be a long, yowly ride out to Villa Ridge tomorrow. Might require a Starbucks stop first, which is fine because we finally got that damn gift card loaded in.

Ordered in Chinese food and stuffed our faces. Mmmmm. MSG.