fall

275:365

It finally feels, and looks, like fall.

This is my friend JoAnne, walking away after our brief chat at the end of my work day. She is a special person and I'm blessed to know her. She has seen more tragedy than most people, and leans heavily on her faith to cope. She's optimistic and a straight-shooter all at once, and she's not afraid to call BS on anyone, even a monk.

This post was going to be another whiny gripe, a splash in the pity pool. But when I see this picture of JoAnne I realize that I don't have a damn thing to be upset about.

I will, however, admit to being very, very tired. We both are, so we are working on cutting back on our commitments. We are stepping back into member-only roles in our Corvette club effective Dec. 31 as a start. I love my volunteer work for the club but something's gotta give. I'm also looking to reassign some, ahem, household duties. After 15 years of beating my head against M's budget spreadsheet, I am stepping back. I will retain bill pay and checkbook balancing, grudgingly.

Numbers do not come easy for me, in case you haven't noticed. It's not intuitive. M can look at a bunch of numbers and they all just make sense in his head. I look at them and it's like using a German dictionary to translate French. I struggle each and every month, and it's the most painful chore I have. I'd rather scrub the toilet.

We had decided early in our marriage that I would do this budget thing so as to avoid me being one of those clueless wives who are up a creek when something happens to their husband. I'm guessing after 15 years I've got a pretty good handle on the situation. I know things like when I got the ZoeMobile in 1999 I could fill the tank with premium gas for $18, whereas now I average $55, at Sam's, for the "cheap stuff." I have given our logins and passwords to our credit card accounts, bank accounts, and retirement accounts to my husband more times than I can count because he forgets. I have the bill cycles pretty well lined up, and I know the dates for all the automatic paychecks and monthly debits. I know where all the paperwork is (he hasn't a clue).

It makes me wonder if HE wouldn't be up a creek if something happened to ME. Hmmm.

It feels good to start letting stuff fall away. Especially with so much else going on with The House.

I had lunch with my old boss the other day. He asked what my career path is at my new job, and what are my options for advancement. I said, "There aren't any. I'm at the top of where I can go there, except for adding more staff to my team. And I am really, truly okay with that." I love my job, and I can't believe they pay me good money to do it. I don't have to travel so I won't miss my kid growing up. I have a flexible schedule. My soul is nourished daily. What else could I need?

So here we go, streamlining and refining and simplifying. It'll be even better once we are through construction.

I'm looking forward to reclaiming my life, and everything falling into place.