debris

271:365

Today and tonight I gave to others. I am tired, which is becoming a regular state of being. While I accomplished many things, and while it feels good to keep crossing things off the to-do list, I'm not feeling satisfied. Maybe it's because the list just keeps growing.

I just want to ensure I'm doing everything to the best of my ability, and when I'm so busy I feel as though I'm not doing any one thing particularly well. I feel as though I mailed it in on the newsletter I produce as a volunteer. And I'm definitely mailing it in here. No wit. No spark. Just laundry lists of what I have done or what I need to do.

Has my life really become just one giant list? (And the list doesn't have things on it like "make more pictures" or "play more Uno with Zozer.")

I need a big change. I just can't figure out how to implement it. How do I get it all done and still feel thoroughly alive, enjoying almost every minute? I don't want to wait until the house is built. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I can't wait until the house is built. I need a change before then or I'm just gonna lose my shit all over the place.

I need to clean the debris out of my head. I desperately need to simplify...and I just can't right now. Too much going on.