up stairs

236:365

I bounce from one thing to the next, juggling monks and carpenters and faculty and architects and employees, bills and advertisements and e-newsletters, websites and sack lunches and litterboxes, laundry and building issues and emails and permission slips and the dishwasher and dental appointments and the window guy and hair cuts and the vacuum and Girl Scouts and invitations and coolers of beer for the job site on Friday...

And sometimes I feel frazzled, but mostly okay and fairly steady. I smile when people ask, and cheerfully quip, "Holdin' it all together with duct tape and bailing wire!" Try to reassure everyone (and myself) that I'm fine with his absence.

And then he calls to tell me that he'll be gone one more day. He will come home, and less than 48 hours later he will leave again. Because being gone five weeks out of six isn't enough.

And then I lose my shit and cry and feel sorry for myself.

Damn it.