Friday, October 10, 2008

Paper Tiger

Last night, being slightly ahead in class and apparently ready for some self-flagellation, I dove into our personal finances, which have been piling up for a couple months. We always pay our bills on time, that's not what I'm saying. Everything even got paid right after my wrist surgery, although it looked like a drunk wrote out the checks. It's just that all the paid bills piled up instead of being filed all nice and neat-like in my Anal-Retentive Bill Binder (ARBB). (I should patent the's that effective. You know, when you actually use it.) In an attempt to stave off the chaos about a month ago I created a folder for Things That Just Need To Be Filed. A plain blue folder into which everything that needed filing was crammed, so at least it wasn't sitting on the buffet in the dining room. I could do that one-armed, so it worked for a bit. Until the Things That Just Need To Be Filed folder started rivaling the ARBB in sheer bulk. Sigh. Time to do something about it.

I discovered that there is simply way too much paper in our house. And it's only growing. I sorted things into stacks: grad school, Zoe's school, bills, receipts, etc. The Investment Statements pile was heckling me until I finally looked over a few, then wanted to throw up after seeing how much we lost in one month. Which is why I had avoided looking at them up til now. Stupid Wall Street. I coulda bought a new Hasselblad, the entire Zeiss lens line, and film and processing for years with what I just lost in a month. Bastards.

Anyway, I got everything sorted and hole-punched and filed and put away, although I still don't know what to do with the bajillion different calendars from Zoe's school (Elephant Room calendar, meal calendar, Parents as Teachers calendar, school-wide event calendar...come on, people. Coordinate a little bit and make one giant calendar...hell, I'd pay for that). A pile of paper went to the shredder and another pile went out to the recycle bin. By 11:30 I was so sick of dealing with paper that I called it a night, pleased as punch that my paperwork was once again happily ensconsed in organizational heaven.

I am also pleased to report that I made it through the entire battle with nary a paper cut. I am a warrier, a juggernaut, a high priestess of paper pushing. Paper clips and staples are my ammunition, and the shredder is my armored tank.

Okay, so maybe I've been spending a bit too much time on homework. It's almost week and two days left!


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