Thursday, January 17, 2008

Book Smarts

Last Night
8:30 p.m. - Log into on-line course and receive first assignment grade: 0/100

8:31 p.m. - Finish having heart attack and check message from instructor

8:32 p.m. - Get pissed because message from instructor says, "I think you have the wrong text book."

8:33 p.m. - Call M in Austin and proceed to freak out. Together. Long-distance freaking. Now that's love.

8:34 p.m. - 12 a.m. - Have various conversations with M, go in and out of panic mode, and generally stay in a state of hyper-anxiety. Realize things like, "We've been 'talking' to our classmates about something entirely different - they must think we're idiots." and "Paula, another classmate, didn't get her book in time and asked for the assignment questions. I gave her the wrong questions! She flunked it, too!"

12 a.m. - 6 a.m. - Fits of sleep, punctuated with feelings of rage and despair, and thoughts of hurling accounting textbooks at idiots in university bookstore.

6 a.m. - 7 a.m. - Get myself ready, get Zoe ready, and try to not toss cookies every time I think about school.

7 a.m. - 7:30 a.m. - Drop Zoe off and head to the university bookstore. Leave weapon in car. For now.

7:30 a.m. - Have discussion with book store manager. Nutshell: "Yeah, we sold you the wrong book. Because we're all out of the right book. Sorry 'bout that. Here's a refund. You might want to look on Amazon for the right one. Have a good day."

7:35 a.m. - Have conversation with fellow student who, after overhearing me talk to the manager, turns around and says, "Accounting? Yeah, they did the same thing to me. I flagged my first assignment, too. My instructor actually sent me a message that asked, 'Did you even try?' I'm here returning my book."

7:40 a.m. - Consider returning to store with weapon, choose instead to drive to work. Call M and vent. Listen to him vent. Construct plan to rip into various university staff members via e-mail.

8 a.m. - Purchase new text books from Amazon and pay through the nose for overnight shipping (another assignment due Sunday! Must have book ASAP!). Send e-mails to instructor, academic advisor, and director of graduate studies. Pray.

9:45 a.m. - Start receiving flood of phone calls and e-mails from various university officials, including instructor. Assignment 1 will not be counted towards final grade. Bookstore pukes to be reprimanded. And hopefully tarred and feathered. Apologies all around. Faith restored in university and on-line learning. Not so much in book store.

Probably not your typical start to graduate studies, but par for the course for my family. I'm hoping that resolution of this issue means that M will stop texting me with messages addressed to "Flunky."

And to think I chose on-line learning for the convenience.


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