Friday, June 22, 2007

The Lion Queen Roars

Going to see The Lion King tonight, after dinner at Boogaloo in Maplewood. I've never eaten at Boogaloo or seen The Lion King, so it's an evening of firsts.

I'm looking forward to this because recently I've been involved in a not-so-great repeated mess.

I do not like it when the same crappy thing keeps happening over and over again. And I do not like it when I go right ahead and get involved all over again. It's sheer stupidity on my part, and I say, I'm not gonna do it any more.

Well, I'll try at least.

There is a person I work with who pushes my buttons like mad. And the stupid thing is, I keep letting her. Why do I do this? She pushes, and I get hacked and push back, and get all worked up in the process.

And the bottom line is that I am the only person who can control my feelings. No matter what this woman does to me, ultimately I must take responsibility for my actions and reactions. I know this, and have known this, although it doesn't prevent me from being an idiot and repeatedly engaging with her.

"Walk away!" screams my reason. "Run!" And yet somehow, for unknown motives, my emotion says, "Hell no! I'm gonna stand here and FIGHT! And get really pissed off in the process!" Really, I think my reason should just kick my emotion's ass and get it over with.

So, starting today, I'm going to work extra hard to remind myself that I'm doing the very best I can, and that if it doesn't please some people, then so be it. It's their problem, not mine.

Boogaloo, The Lion King, and a guilt-free life. Sounds pretty damn good to me.


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