Tuesday, May 06, 2014

What I learned today

  • Zoe has dreams about white poodles that have rainbow polka dots.
  • "trombone" is French for "paper clip," because clearly paper clips are shaped like little trombones.
  • The orchid on my desk attracts poetry-writing monks, who rush in and wax, well, poetic, about the beauty of a flower trumping the finest architecture man could ever create.
  • My monk prefers staples over paper clips, because he can forcefully bang the stapler whereas fastening with a paper clip is rather anti-climactic. (We talked a lot about paper clips today.)
  • There are many kinds of pants: grouchy, I-don't-want-to-work, smarty, party, margarita, gusseted-crotch, happy, and shit-my. Wow. Who knew?
  • Sand ninjas are real. I know this because I saw a photograph. And photographs don't lie.
  • Gaining FTP access to the company that's building our new website at work takes about 1,367 emails to fourteen people over two days. And I still don't have access. "Why don't you just email your 100+ images to me?" "Why don't you not suggest ways I can waste an entire day."
  • I'm much happier when I can manage to completely avoid the douchebags at work. If I can maintain this status, I shall not require pharmaceutical help. Maybe.
  • When you read emails from the British monks, you pronounce everything with the British accent in your head.
  • M, when he chooses to, can bring the funny. I mean, really. He had me in stitches tonight, and you'd be in stitches, too, except that he forbid I share what he said. Suffice it to say, the boy can bring it.


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