The future's so bright...or maybe it's just Florida sun
The weight has been lifted. It's another time of uncertainty in my life...which is compounded by external environmental factors (hello, Mr. 10% Unemployment), but I am not worried. I am not mired with pangs of self-doubt while continually berating myself with "Did you do the right thing? Did you?"
For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. I feel free to dream, to explore, to really consider all the possibilities. I find myself being more spontaneous (such as when my in-laws said a week ago, "Hey, we're driving to Florida the day after your last day...wanna come?" and I said, without a second of thought - or maybe quickly enough to keep myself from having second thoughts - "Yes!"). Zoe and I are, as I type, comfortably ensconsed in a tricked-out Honda Accord hurtling towards Boynton Beach (home of the utterly fantastic Uncle Marty and Aunt Dee).
I hadn't planned on doing much computer work this week, but Dad brought his laptop that has an air card, so here I am, a mobile blogger. I have reached new levels of nerdiness in my newfound freedom.
The big questions from people at work were, "Where are you going?" (I don't know.) and "What are you going to do?" (I don't know.) I have some freelance jobs lined up, so I'll have some money trickling in. I'll be able to collect unemployment. In the meantime, I have dreams of finally getting the house cleaned up, going on every single fieldtrip with Zozer, working out as long as I like every day (instead of cramming in 30 minutes and then rushing home to get ready for work), and making photographs. I am actively seeking a "real" job and have a variety of resumes out to a plethora of potential employers for some pretty cool positions. We'll see what turns up. Several people have asked me, "What kind of job do you want?" Shoot, at this point I just want to work for a good company that values its employees and allows them to actually use their brains.
I am very sad to leave an amazing group of people at my old job. They sustained me there much longer than had they not been around. They sent me off with a helluva happy hour (invitation-only) Friday night, and I wish there was some way to tell them all how much they mean to me. I am fortunate to now count them as friends, not merely as colleagues, and will keep them as such the rest of my life. M came to the happy hour, too, and I think had a great time. People would drift over to our tables, "Is it someone's birthday?" He had a blast answering questions, building them up to great dramatic effect. "Nope. She's celebrating. She got fired and today was her last day on the job." "She got fired and she's that happy?" "Yeah, it was that bad. And...her aunt fired her." And then he'd point to my former colleagues, "And these poor people have to go back!" and they would nod dolefully.
In the meantime, I look forward to being able to talk to my old friends without having the spectre of a truly shitty job hanging over everything. "How are you?" "Well, I'd be great if I weren't working in a soul-sucking cesspool. You?"
However, there is much more to look forward to, than looking back. I have this week in Florida, then I come back for a week where I tackle my first freelance job (billing out at $75/hour thankyouverymuch). Then on Friday I hop a train to go see my awesome friend Val in Chicago for a weekend of shooting, good wine, and great food. Yeah, not so much missing the steady-job thing in the near future.
Right now, this very second, I am enjoying a beautiful sunset marked by the outline of palm trees. It is about 60 degrees outside. My daughter is reading books in the backseat with her grandmother, and I'm trading jokes with my father-in-law. Brother-in-law is passed out in the backseat, or he'd be joining in (it's already been a trip stuffed to the gills with giggles). M could not come...too late for him to take time off (plus I think he secretly cherishes the idea of a whole week at home alone...sans women...to do as he pleases). Before we left, Zoe and I had this conversation:
Zoe: Is Daddy going with us to Florida?
Me: No, sweetie. He has to stay home and go to work.
Zoe: Okay. We'll call him from Florida.
Me: Sure. We can call him from Florida.
Zoe: And if he doesn't answer, we will leave him a voicemail.
Good to know that, at 4.5, she's already got it all figured out.
Here's to a great (warm!) week! I'll try to update more later.
For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. I feel free to dream, to explore, to really consider all the possibilities. I find myself being more spontaneous (such as when my in-laws said a week ago, "Hey, we're driving to Florida the day after your last day...wanna come?" and I said, without a second of thought - or maybe quickly enough to keep myself from having second thoughts - "Yes!"). Zoe and I are, as I type, comfortably ensconsed in a tricked-out Honda Accord hurtling towards Boynton Beach (home of the utterly fantastic Uncle Marty and Aunt Dee).
I hadn't planned on doing much computer work this week, but Dad brought his laptop that has an air card, so here I am, a mobile blogger. I have reached new levels of nerdiness in my newfound freedom.
The big questions from people at work were, "Where are you going?" (I don't know.) and "What are you going to do?" (I don't know.) I have some freelance jobs lined up, so I'll have some money trickling in. I'll be able to collect unemployment. In the meantime, I have dreams of finally getting the house cleaned up, going on every single fieldtrip with Zozer, working out as long as I like every day (instead of cramming in 30 minutes and then rushing home to get ready for work), and making photographs. I am actively seeking a "real" job and have a variety of resumes out to a plethora of potential employers for some pretty cool positions. We'll see what turns up. Several people have asked me, "What kind of job do you want?" Shoot, at this point I just want to work for a good company that values its employees and allows them to actually use their brains.
I am very sad to leave an amazing group of people at my old job. They sustained me there much longer than had they not been around. They sent me off with a helluva happy hour (invitation-only) Friday night, and I wish there was some way to tell them all how much they mean to me. I am fortunate to now count them as friends, not merely as colleagues, and will keep them as such the rest of my life. M came to the happy hour, too, and I think had a great time. People would drift over to our tables, "Is it someone's birthday?" He had a blast answering questions, building them up to great dramatic effect. "Nope. She's celebrating. She got fired and today was her last day on the job." "She got fired and she's that happy?" "Yeah, it was that bad. And...her aunt fired her." And then he'd point to my former colleagues, "And these poor people have to go back!" and they would nod dolefully.
In the meantime, I look forward to being able to talk to my old friends without having the spectre of a truly shitty job hanging over everything. "How are you?" "Well, I'd be great if I weren't working in a soul-sucking cesspool. You?"
However, there is much more to look forward to, than looking back. I have this week in Florida, then I come back for a week where I tackle my first freelance job (billing out at $75/hour thankyouverymuch). Then on Friday I hop a train to go see my awesome friend Val in Chicago for a weekend of shooting, good wine, and great food. Yeah, not so much missing the steady-job thing in the near future.
Right now, this very second, I am enjoying a beautiful sunset marked by the outline of palm trees. It is about 60 degrees outside. My daughter is reading books in the backseat with her grandmother, and I'm trading jokes with my father-in-law. Brother-in-law is passed out in the backseat, or he'd be joining in (it's already been a trip stuffed to the gills with giggles). M could not come...too late for him to take time off (plus I think he secretly cherishes the idea of a whole week at home alone...sans women...to do as he pleases). Before we left, Zoe and I had this conversation:
Zoe: Is Daddy going with us to Florida?
Me: No, sweetie. He has to stay home and go to work.
Zoe: Okay. We'll call him from Florida.
Me: Sure. We can call him from Florida.
Zoe: And if he doesn't answer, we will leave him a voicemail.
Good to know that, at 4.5, she's already got it all figured out.
Here's to a great (warm!) week! I'll try to update more later.
posted by Amy at 5:22 PM
2 Comments:
It would be a lot quieter if your damn cat wasn't snoring from HIS purr-pad. Furry mongrel!!!
Ping--Glad you are having a great time. Lick some salt air at the beach for me! Pingaling lunch when you get back.
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