Monday, May 14, 2007


I laid in bed tonight, not able to sleep at all, tossing and turning and getting more and more frustrated as the minutes ticked by, and then I realized...

I forgot to blog today!

Actually, I haven't blogged in like four days, which is strange for me.

Friday I was at our Chesterfield location, where we're so incredibly short-staffed that it behooved the company to send its Marketing Director to serve as Spa Coordinator since it was two days before Mother's Day and all. Then Friday night was Saara's happy hour, which was absolutely fantastic. Felt good to sit with the peeps and laugh again, over stupid crap. You know you've found a soul-mate friend when you can say something like, "Is it a bird yurt?" and the girl sitting next to you totally cracks up laughing.

Saturday Zozo and I went to the park first thing in the morning, which is the best time to go because there isn't hardly anyone else there, child-wise anyway, so you not only don't have to wait for a bucket swing, but you get to hog it for like 20 minutes straight because no one else is waiting for a bucket swing. We met Isaac and his dad, and Bennie and his dad, and just hung out. (Where the hell are all the moms at 7:45 on a Saturday morning?!) Then Saara came over and we got to talk. And talk and talk and talk. After awhile we left and tried to go eat bait at our favorite sushi joint, but it was closed (that's what happens when you don't call ahead to check...doh!) and so we ended up at Dewey's Pizza in U. City, where we talked some more. I think we honestly could have talked for days, but alas, Saara had to catch her flight back to CO and The Lair, and so we'll have to resume talking again some other time.

Having a few hours on my own with no obligations (which doesn't happen often enough), I went to the Art Museum and wandered through the Nicholas Nixon exhibit one last time. It was blissful. I took as much time as I wanted, drifting through and stopping before every print to linger and soak it all in. Gorgeous work. Beautiful, soft, amazing light. Detail beyond belief. I can only dream of shooting like that one day. I can't ever figure out if seeing work like that inspires me to keep trying, or makes me think I should just give up now.

Mother's Day was perfectly lovely. I was going to write a big ol' long composition on the importance of mothers, but what can you say, really? I saw something written somewhere that said, "We all have a mother," and that's a pretty powerful statement, if you think about it. No matter what goes on in the world, no matter who is what color or has what beliefs or fights what war...we all have a mother. Some of us are luckier than others in that we got mothers who gave us creativity and wit and spunk (thanks, Mama), but we all got mothers. It changes how you view the world when you start seeing everyone as someone's child.

When we were trying to get pregnant, and struggling, and I was going to a weekly support group to cope with the feelings and the pain, I learned something that blew my mind (and still does, really). I learned that, technically, each woman was actually in the body of her grandmother, not just her mother. Think about it. Baby girls are born with all the eggs they'll ever have in their ovaries. My sister and I were eggs in our mother when she was a baby in her mother, just like my daughter was an egg in me when I was a baby in my mother. How wild is that? That bond, that tie between the generations, is awesome.

So, yeah, that's about all I'm gonna write about mothers for Mother's Day. I also think I'm going to take a hiatus on all the tribute stuff altogether. I'm getting to the point where I feel it's expected for me to write special things about special people on special days, and quite frankly, homie don't play that. I started this damn thing for me, dammit, and that's what it's gonna be. I can be selfish like that, you know, because it's mine. You want tributes, write your own blog.

Today I took a half day off work to spend time with my Stefster, in town for Mother's Day and because she got a kick-ass fare on Southwest (ding!). We talked, and talked, and talked some more, and went and got coffee and talked some more. I got to see her pictures from Peru and think that she's one of the most amazing people in the whole world for doing stuff like that. How many of us would go, alone, on a trip to Peru and hike through the mountains to see Machu Picchu? She's an inspiration to me daily and I can only hope to grow and become more like her. (Okay, so that was a little tributey, but she's cool, man, she's cool.)

So, I had a girly girl weekend in that I got to spend lots of time with women who are very important to me, including my Zozo, which only reaffirmed that I'm becoming exactly the kind of woman I want to be, which is not only a mom and wife and daughter and granddaughter and daughter-in-law and marketing director and friend, but me. Completely and wholly me. Just me.

And on that note, I'm gonna quit typing and work on some images, which I haven't done in a long time and which is probably the reason that, at 12:21 a.m., I feel frustrated and unable to sleep.

P.S. I started reading Salinger's Catcher in the Rye again this weekend, dammit, so there's liable to be lots of damn cursing in my damn blog for awhile, dammit. Just a lousy damn warning. M asked, "What are you reading?" and, when I told him, laughed. I asked what the laugh was about and he responded, "Well, you know, that's not something I'd ever just pick up and read on my own just for fun. I prefer this." and he hoisted up the six-inch Grainger catalog. What can I say? He makes me laugh.


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