I see

10 seconds on my right eye.

15 seconds on my left eye.

After 24+ years of wearing glasses and contacts, 25 seconds was all it took to give me 20/20 vision.

On Friday, I had LASIK done. To both eyes. Hence, no post. And no posts over the weekend, either. Doctor's orders to rest both eyes. No TV, no computer, no reading. No exercise on Saturday. You might as well shoot me as far as entertainment options go, but it was worth it.

So, here are my answers to the FAQs I've been receiving:

1. No, it didn't hurt. At all. Any part of it. Or after.
2. Dr. Stephen Wexler at TLC on Ballas. He rocks.
3. We were in and out in about an hour, start to finish.
4. Vision is watery right after due to the tons of drops they put in, but I could immediately tell that I could see distance.
5. Yes, you are awake and completely aware during the whole thing, but it's okay because it doesn't hurt and because Dr. Wexler walks you through everything.
6. It looks pretty freaky, like a psychedelic light show of blueish-purplish light coming at you in a tunnel.
7. Only discomfort is that my eyes sometimes feel dry, which is immediately corrected with eye drops. For those of you who wear contacts, it feels like when you sleep with your contacts in.
8. No eye make-up (yikes!) for week, and three kinds of drops four times a day for a week. No rubbing. Wear sexy plastic eye shields at night. Other than that, no restrictions.
9. Vision is a little hazy, especially when looking at light sources. Due to slight swelling in the eyes and should subside in a week.
10. Hell yeah, I was nervous, and told Wexler that I was completely ready to toss my cookies when he walked in the door. Turns out, nothing to be nervous about. At all.

This is about one of the most remarkable things in the world, in my opinion. To go from being so nearsighted that things two feet away started to blur to being able to see everything, near and far, with no glasses or contacts at all, in a matter of seconds, blows my mind.

Wexler, cool dude that he is, played music during my procedure. REO's "Roll With the Changes" and the B52's "Love Shack" combined with the light show made it a helluva lot easier. I was still shaky afterwards, but I'm pretty sure that was due to the adrenaline and nerves. The valium they gave me to help me relax took care of that pretty quick. (FYI, valium comes after you get home, not before the procedure, as they want you completely with it while they're firing a laser at your eyes).

I also asked for x-ray vision, laser vision and night vision. X-ray vision would come in handy in several scenarios, such as checking on Zozo without opening her incredibly loud, squeaky door and seeing what's in the fridge without letting all the cool air out. Night vision, well, for obvious reasons. And who doesn't want laser vision from time to time to, you know, incinerate things at will.

I'll settle for the distance correction, though.

First thing I did Saturday morning, after my follow-up appointment where it was confirmed that yes, I do indeed now have 20/20 vision, was go to Target and get some big ol' Hollywood-style shades. Helps with the bright light haze phenomenon, and also because it's been years since I got to buy "fun" sunglasses. So now I look totally glamorous. Or like a big bug. Whatever.

And just FYI, because I asked (because I'm weirdly curious about strange things), the flap he created on my corneas to let the LASIK do it's thing swung up. The hinge is on the top. Groovy, huh?