Blues

Some days I just feel sad.
Because of everything bad in the world
and because of nothing at all in particular
but everything in general.

And I know that all it takes is a little time
and a mental slap in the face
to stop lurking in the murky waters of depression
and come out where the light is, again.

I hate the word "depression" because it sounds so clinical, and so like something that needs to be fixed with medication or therapy or whathaveyou. I think sometimes a little depression is a healthy thing, a cycle that helps keep us grounded and pragmatic. Not everything is good, all the time. It's impossible to be continuously happy and full of glee. But if you're sad nowadays, it's almost categorically labeled as depression, or rather Depression with a capital d, and people start to worry about you and get upset, and they really shouldn't, because don't all of us have sad days that nothing can fix but a little time? Isn't it okay to beat back the dark curtains of depression on your own?

Huh. I just realized that perhaps "depression" isn't the right word to use. Maybe "sadness" is okay, and we should leave "depression" to the doctors. It's probably okay to be sad, and much preferrable to be sad than to be depressed. Is there a difference? Is it socially acceptable to be sad rather than depressed? What about profound sadness? At what point does sadness cross over to depression?

Really, my mind is just sort of rambling today. It's a bluesy sort of day for me, when I get all introspective and start asking the really deep questions. Like, what does it mean to be truly happy, and to be truly sad.

I think deep down I'm essentially a happy person. I have fun, and I am surrounded by so many wonderful people that I consider myself more blessed than 99% of the population. I love, and am loved, and really, what more could you need?

But today, I just feel sad. And it's okay for a happy person to feel sad sometimes, don't you think?