Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy 2007~

Good morning! I write to you from the wee (drunken) hours of 2007. Many apologies in advance for any misspelling and grammatical errors, but I fully and completely blame Messiers Anheuser and Busch for inadequacies in this morning's post.

For instance, I just typed "Good morning~" four times until I got the exclamation point correct instead of that little squiggly thing which I believe is called a tilde but which I'm too inebriated to remember for sure. I'm also too intoxicated to google it right now.

I will do my best, as a graduate of The World's Finest School of Journalism, to have a literate post.

As you can see, I've sent 2006 out with the recycling and have greeted 2007 with a bang. Tonight's party was sponsored by my FIL and my MIL, who, despite not being drunks themselves, can throw a helluva shindig. See, I just typed "party" there twice, then went back and typed "shindig" because my journalism profs would be POd if I used the same word in the same sentence twice. Welcome to the anal retentive club, where I'm not only a member, but I'm also the president.

I will not blame myself for my current stupor, but instead will state that I only retrieved one beer for myself, the rest being provided by M, Ryan, Shelley, Jim, and possibly others whom I cannot recall. This means, of course, that I had at least five beers, and they were the new, cool ones in the aluminum bottles that are "SIXTEEN OUNCES!!!" (to quote Michelle) instead of the regular size, whatever that is (apparently smaller than 16 ounces, hence Michelle's excitability at the new size). My daughter (who remaines alcohol-free, I assure you) and my husband (who definitely does not) are now sleeping peacefully. I should probably also mention that I had a glass of champagne at midnight to celebrate the new year, and am only reasonably sure that I am spelling "champagne" correctly.

You know what totally cracks me up? Despite my intoxication, I still managed to brush my face and wash my teeth (to quote my Papa), and take my vitamin and fiber (although I'm skipping the normal insomniac pillsies tonight, as Bud Select will do the trick I'm sure), and get ready for bed in a somewhat normal fashion. I guess old habits are ingrained, eh?


Just wanted to type the longest word in the English language whilst drunk, so I can check it in the morning and see just how bad I am.

So, I am one of those funny drunks who, when drunk, love everyone and everything. I hereby, in my drunken state, absolve those who have been added to my "Things and People to Smite" list lately. Although I reserve the right to re-add you when I'm sober. Smiting is just too much fun to give up altogether.

Which makes me think...what are your New Years Resolutions? I myself have none, as my resolutions from last year remain wholly unresolved and I do not feel the need to set myself up for failure for a second year. They weren't hard, mind you, and many wonderful things happened instead, but if I can't do things like, "Eat at the new Busch's Grove" and "go on a tour of the St. Louis Frank Lloyd Wright house" then I figure it's pretty pointless to come up with new ones. I hear Busch's Grove isn't doing well anyway, and I've seen many other cool houses such as my friend Chris's, so I'll just be thankful for the many good things that happen seemingly on a whim.

I'll sign off now, and will probably turn on the next installment of The West Wing, which in my humble opinion is only the greatest television show ever produced and which now I own in its entirety, thankyouverymuch, during which I plan to slowly fall asleep before starting awake later and stumbling to bed.

Happy New Year to you all!

(P.S. The tilde -or whatever it's called- in the headline is a joke reference to the four times it took me to get the exclamation point correct in the first line of the post. I'm too tanked to think about whether you'd get that or whether you'd just think I'm hammered. But not too tanked to care, apparently. Hence the explanation.)


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