baggage

78:365

Packing again, this time for a family trip to Cincinnati to see beloved cousins. I'm looking forward to this trip more than Colorado, I think because this trip I won't have to miss my family.

I've been thinking a lot about this change in travel feelings, this idea that I didn't get as much out of the CO trip as I normally do. Why? What changed?

It's the trial.

The daily reminder for over a week that my life could be shattered with no warning has made me reticent to leave those I love the most. This may fade with time, although I know I will eventually be forced to face separation anyway when she leaves for college. I hope I regain some of my willingness to be independent sooner than that, though, for all of our sakes. I don't want to live under a cloud of worry, and I want to set the example for my daughter that it's important for women to have time for themselves, exploring new places and having experiences that aren't tied completely to those with whom she lives.

Maybe it'll just take some time. Maybe. In the meantime, man, it's some heavy baggage to haul around.