change

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I just submitted my resignation. Just now, via e-mail. Because the Internets told me it's okay to do that, plus M was encouraging me to "hit send! Do it!" I have a new job, which means I can't exactly keep my old job. I feel like throwing up.

My excitement about the new position is tempered with a rather large dose of anxiety. While I look forward to my new role, I don't really know everything about it. It's true that no one ever does, but there's that old saying about the devil you know versus the devil you don't. Which is an ironic statement given that I am going to work at a religious organization.

Also, I really do like my two dotted-line bosses at my current job, making it a little difficult to leave them. The French one in particular. He and I hit it off from the beginning, and it was thanks to him that I was spared in a round of layoffs awhile back. He created my position, and has always treated me with respect and good humor. Which is more than I can say for my solid-line boss, for whom I am a fly in his good-old-boy-network ointment. I have some suggestions on what he can do with his network. Or rather, where he can shove it. I did not include those in my resignation letter. I'm a writer, after all, and those sorts of crass directions are beneath me.

I am a bundle of nerves tonight, and will probably find it hard to sleep. I dread the rounds of phone calls I know are in store tomorrow, and over the next few days.

I embrace change. I really do. I think it's necessary for personal and professional growth. I think that change is much better than being stuck in neutral. And thank God all my current change is good.

I just wish that maybe there wasn't quite so much change going on in my life right now. A few days of peace and calm never hurt anyone, you know?