Thursday, May 26, 2011

Hot diggety dog

Hooooo boy.

I took one for the team today.

I went to Zoe's school and ate a hot dog lunch to make up for her school picnic being rained out yesterday.

I knew I was in trouble when I plopped my fat ass onto a tiny chair and bellied up to a table a foot and a half off the ground, and Ms. Sherese asked, "You ate lunch before you came, right?"  I responded negatively, she wrinkled up her nose, gingerly handed me a hot dog and said, "Oh.  Um...well...oh."  Piece by piece, I received the rest of my lunch from the teachers.

One questionably-meated hot dog, a bag of Lays (and not Baked Lays, grrr), and two Oreo cookies (and not Reduced Fat Oreos) later, and I was already queasy.

I realized that I had a triple whammy, a trifecta of suckitude, on my hands:

  1. The "meal" was not enough to fill me up for lunch.
  2. It was, however, what my caloric intake should be for the next week.  Which meant I couldn't stop somewhere and get something else to eat.  Ever.
  3. My vaunted stomach-of-steel ("I can eat/drink anything and never get sick!") is either severely compromised by years of eating/drinking anything or is just tired of the fight.  Burble.  Grumble.  Pfffffffft.
I will do anything for my daughter.  I would lay down my life for her.  Sacrifice whatever it takes to ensure her health and happiness.


I need to start planning ahead a bit better.  A quick hit at CBW for a veggie bowl would have done the trick.  I'm even happy to bring one for Zozer, too.  Heck, to save myself, I'm tempted to feed the whole damn class.

I called M on the way back to the office.  I could tell he was in a really fantastic restaurant in Denmark, eating delicious food and drinking something alcoholic.  (Yes, I could tell all this in the first nanosecond when he picked up, I heard the clink of silverware and stemware in the background, and he said, "Hello?")  I bemoaned my lunch to him, and said, "I can guarantee you're eating something better than I ate."  He just laughed.  And probably shoved a forkful of filet oscar in his mouth.

Shout-out to CW, who gamely entered the madness today with me, and ate a crummy lunch in the name of motherly love.  Love you, sister!

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