Thursday, November 06, 2014

Going Out

Day 2 of Morning Pages

Well, today didn't quite go as planned, either, but it's still good. M has to be at work at 7, so his ride is showing up at 6, so he had set his alarm for 5. I was out for a girls' night last night, so when his alarm went off we talked about the events of the evening and such. After that I was pretty well awake, so I helped him get ready for work, retrieving clothes and shoes so he didn't have to struggle with carrying things on crutches. Made his coffee thermos, put on his shoes, turned out the exterior lights and unlocked the door. I went back to bed for 10 minutes, where I found a snuggly daughter, and obediently got up 6 when my alarm went off.

The girls' night out was good, and interesting. I hadn't planned on going when I received the e-vite. Normally we have soccer practice on Wednesdays, and there was a Corvette Club meeting that had been pushed to that date due to the elections. M encouraged me to go with the women. It's interesting to me those times he knows what is better for me than I do. I changed my RSVP to "yes" and waited. We determined we weren't going to renew the club membership anyway, so it wasn't like we were going to miss a meeting, plus he's been so exhausted from being on crutches all day that even if we had renewed, we probably wouldn't have gone. So off I went.

The ladies on the list were mostly people with whom I have a passing acquaintance. I recognized names and faces, but they weren't people I'd make plans with to go have a drink. Until 30+ of us showed up last night and had drinks together. A few women who were retreatants on the last retreat came, along with a couple former team members. It was so nice to re-connect with them. I met a few more whom I recognized from church, and learned that they are just lovely. I saw women who looked pretty fantastic for 9 p.m. on a Wednesday night, while I proudly bore the signs of my day (smudged eye make-up, no blush left to speak of, wonky hair held precariously in place by a barrette) as time well-spent. Yesterday I wrote, I worked, I ran a Girl Scout meeting, and made dinner for my family. I may not have looked like Cindy Crawford by the time I hit the bar (or ever, really, come think of it), but my day had been pretty damn wonderful and no way was I going to apologize for that.

So now M is off to work, Zoe is dozing in my bed, the leaves are blowing wildly outside and Max the cat is crunching the food in his bowl. I have a fresh pot of coffee and time, precious quiet time to myself. It's nice to sit here and reflect on last night, which I hadn't necessarily wanted to do but am so glad I did. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't just shut myself up in my house and be a recluse if given the opportunity. It's good to get out, though, to meet new people and learn new stories.

Last night I met a woman with two little boys, both delivered via c-section. She had labored for 18 hours (!) and pushed for four hours (!!) until the doctor took the first one. She said, "I got the worst of both worlds." She scheduled the second one.

I met a woman with four children who moved here from Mexico.

I talked with someone who's mother-in-law recently had a stroke, and in the process of caring for her she and her husband realized that her father-in-law needed much help, too. He had never cooked for himself, so when his wife went into the hospital, he simply stopped eating. They are Filipino, and crave their own food. Her husband is now teaching himself to make traditional Filipino dishes. How cool is that?

I caught up with a friend who recently had a weekend romantic get-away with her husband. She shared photos of their picturesque cabin with a wood-burning fireplace and hilariously taxidermied animals, and we all talked about how important it is to carve out time with your beloved. I shared our summer experience of taking our car with two seats out west for two weeks.

I offered support and encouragement to a friend whose daughter is dealing with girl drama at school, wishing there was something I could do or say to make things better both for the daughter and the mother.

I commiserated with a friend whose husband is cut from the same cloth as my husband. They share a name, and the whole tall, dark and handsome thing, and their propensity to shake their heads at their out-of-control wives. We swapped stories and laughed our butts off and bonded over the role of being The Default Parent ( (I'm writing on the iPad this morning, so I can't embed a link. If I remember I'll go back and embed it once I'm on a laptop later.) This blog post is sweeping through our community, and has opened doors to conversations that needed to take place between women themselves, and between wives and husbands.

It was wonderful, and exciting, and hard to do at first (showing up at an event where I knew my usual support system wouldn't be in place...I'd have to - gasp - make new friends!). And it was confirmation that I need to continue to do things like this.

Zoe's alarm is going signal to get in the shower and start my "real" day. It's casual day at work, and Doughnut Thursday, and I got my Morning Pages in. Sweet.


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