Holiday/End of Year thoughts
Christmas is done for this year. Well, almost. A few things left to do, but they're fun things and not oh-my-gawd-I-don't-have-time-for-this things. Which is what it's been for what feels like over a month. Actually, it's been well over a month.
When multiple things go wrong, and they are big things, it's too easy to get caught up in that and think that everything is just awful. It's too easy to lose sight of the good things. And there are a lot of good things.
Looking back on 2010, it's been a whirlwind. I think we may have overcompensated for two years of living underwater. At least I did. I changed jobs, which in and of itself is incredibly stressful, but add to it a healthy dose of family discord, hurt feelings, lies and betrayal and it's unbelievably painful. I went to Chicago (x2), Florida, Kentucky, Rhode Island (x2), Colorado, Dallas. M went to Denmark (x2), England, India, Kentucky, Rhode Island and I can't remember where else (Vegas?). He jumped into a fjord, I leaped into new friendships. We bought The Fun Car. We buried beloved family members and welcomed new ones (kisses to Emma and Stella!). I got my brother back, and lost an aunt.
2010 has definitely been a year of change, mostly good. Even when good, though, change is stressful. I have learned more during this past year about myself than all the book learnin' of two years of graduate school. I have learned that I'm capable of a lot more than I thought, but with that capability comes the responsibility (to myself, to my family, to my friends) to learn to say "no."
While the past year has been incredible in so many different ways, I'm not sorry to see it go. 2010 kicked my ass. I'm tired. I am looking forward to a calmer 2011, more time to be introspective, more time to ease into the day, and enjoy the moments. I want to just be present in every moment and not thinking about what I need to do next, where I need to go.
We started tonight. After getting home and getting Zoe into bed, and straightening the house, we sat on the library floor and played "Don't Break the Ice" and "Don't Spill the Beans." We needed some mindless entertainment. And we laughed. And I realized as I looked at my M, that it has been too long since I've seen that smile. It's been too long since we've done something goofy like play preschool games together.
And now we're going to sleep. Tomorrow brings another day with more things to check off the to-do list (it is still 2010 after all), starting with the disaster zone my desk has become (I had to excavate the keyboard from a mountain of paperwork just to post tonight), but we're getting there. We have a stack of new games from Santa and a little girl who loves to play.
2011 is gonna rock.
When multiple things go wrong, and they are big things, it's too easy to get caught up in that and think that everything is just awful. It's too easy to lose sight of the good things. And there are a lot of good things.
Looking back on 2010, it's been a whirlwind. I think we may have overcompensated for two years of living underwater. At least I did. I changed jobs, which in and of itself is incredibly stressful, but add to it a healthy dose of family discord, hurt feelings, lies and betrayal and it's unbelievably painful. I went to Chicago (x2), Florida, Kentucky, Rhode Island (x2), Colorado, Dallas. M went to Denmark (x2), England, India, Kentucky, Rhode Island and I can't remember where else (Vegas?). He jumped into a fjord, I leaped into new friendships. We bought The Fun Car. We buried beloved family members and welcomed new ones (kisses to Emma and Stella!). I got my brother back, and lost an aunt.
2010 has definitely been a year of change, mostly good. Even when good, though, change is stressful. I have learned more during this past year about myself than all the book learnin' of two years of graduate school. I have learned that I'm capable of a lot more than I thought, but with that capability comes the responsibility (to myself, to my family, to my friends) to learn to say "no."
While the past year has been incredible in so many different ways, I'm not sorry to see it go. 2010 kicked my ass. I'm tired. I am looking forward to a calmer 2011, more time to be introspective, more time to ease into the day, and enjoy the moments. I want to just be present in every moment and not thinking about what I need to do next, where I need to go.
We started tonight. After getting home and getting Zoe into bed, and straightening the house, we sat on the library floor and played "Don't Break the Ice" and "Don't Spill the Beans." We needed some mindless entertainment. And we laughed. And I realized as I looked at my M, that it has been too long since I've seen that smile. It's been too long since we've done something goofy like play preschool games together.
And now we're going to sleep. Tomorrow brings another day with more things to check off the to-do list (it is still 2010 after all), starting with the disaster zone my desk has become (I had to excavate the keyboard from a mountain of paperwork just to post tonight), but we're getting there. We have a stack of new games from Santa and a little girl who loves to play.
2011 is gonna rock.
posted by Amy at 12:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home